Wings Of Desire
by Saint Sentiment
Summary: I feel like my heart is breaking. Why am I feeling this pain inside? Why doesn't he notice me? Risa/Satoshi. Complete.
1. Hurting

**Updated A/N: **For the sake of all those who reviewed/favorited while this story was being written, I tried to keep the diction and the narrative as close to the original as possible, while revising what I needed to for enhanced readability. I corrected spacing issues, bolded Risa and Satoshi's names when a change in narrative occurred, corrected grammatical errors, which were cringingly abundant, and reworded awkward sentences. I also changed the tense to past, since in my mediocrity I jumped from present to past with no knowledge of the confusion I was creating. Lastly, I took out most of the lyrics from the song I put in Satoshi's part of the chapter, since it was largely unneeded. I hope it reads better for you guys as a result.

**Rewritten: 5/24/2012**

**Chapter 1: Hurting**

**(Risa)**

I stared at him from the opposite side of the classroom. He never seemed to notice. During class he always used to sit straight in his desk, scribbling things in his little black book. But that was when Dark was still around.

I always wondered what he wrote. Top secret plans to capture the elusive Dark, most likely.

Satoshi Hikari was slouched back in his seat, staring at the window. He wasn't even paying attention to the teacher. He was more withdrawn than he'd ever been before. I wondered what he was thinking about.

Now that Dark had been sealed along with his other half (I think his name was Krad), Satoshi hasn't quite been himself. It was like a part of him died the day Dark and Krad left his life forever.

I guess he finally realized he had nothing to live for anymore.

I wanted to go over to his desk and say, "Hi," but something kept me from approaching him. A stinging pain in my chest made me grunt. I clenched the aching part, hoping it would help alleviate the pain. But it wasn't going away. Lately I felt a strong pain in me. I wasn't sure what it was yet, but whenever I thought of Satoshi, it came back. A mixture of anxiety and fear... maybe even heartbreak.

But why should I be heartbroken? It wasn't like he ever hurt me.

_"Don't lie to yourself, Risa. He hurts you every day."_

No, he didn't. He never hurt me.

_"But he does, and you can't deny it. He may not do it on purpose...but he's the reason. He's always been the reason."_

Two hours later, I was at home, sitting on my bed. That pain hit me again. I resisted the urge to cry. It had been like this for a while now. This pain inside.

Why did I feel this pain inside? Like my heart was breaking?

Laughter erupted from downstairs. I could hear it echo through the walls of my room.

Daisuke and Riku. The happy couple I was so envious of. I wanted to hurl every time I heard them laugh or saw them smile. I couldn't stand their happiness.

_"It's because you're not happy, Risa."_

No; I was perfectly fine. I'd just get jealous sometimes!

_"Are you sure?"_

I tried not to think of him. Or that hurt I felt whenever I did. I shook my head and fought with my own emotions. I placed a hand to my forehead and rocked back and forth. "Don't cry..." I whispered as my voice started to break. "Don't cry."

I could feel my body betraying me. My face felt hot I felt it well up, rimming in my eyes, just waiting to spill over. I couldn't fight my own despair, and I realized that when I felt a stream down my cheek.

Damn it! Why couldn't I just hold it in?

Footsteps creaked on the stairs, advancing towards my room. Panic swept through me. Whoever it could be—Daisuke or Riku—they couldn't see me like this!

I wiped my face to lessen my blurry vision. Then I grabbed the nearest form of protection—a blanket. The only thing I felt could truly conceal me from everything until I want to come out. Pulling it over my head, I sat still and quiet and tried to ignore my beating heart. Sometimes not even that worked. A certain nosy Riku would still pull back the covers and ask me what was wrong when it clearly wasn't her business.

The door opened and closed. My stomach dropped. _Don't look at me. Don't look at me, _I pleaded.

Slender fingers wrapped themselves around the covers, attempting to reveal my red, blotchy face. I grabbed the hand subconsciously, saying without a word that I wanted to be left alone. The hand stilled from the sudden contact and pulled free from my grip.

"Jeez, Risa! Don't scare me like that!"

"Leave me alone, Riku."

She paused. "Something's wrong, isn't it?"

"Who asked you? Go away!"

A few moments of silence passed. All I heard was the ticking of the clock that sat on the table by my bedside.

"Show me your face."

It was foolish not to answer, because whenever I didn't answer a question, it only confirmed the fact. She knew that.

"Risa—" she reached for the covers again.

"I said leave me alone!" I emerged from my blanket with the distressed face she prepared herself to see. "Get out!"

My shouts echoed through the walls of my room and traveled downstairs, probably startling Daisuke. I knew he must have heard me, because Riku shot me an incredulous look and glimpsed at the door and back to me.

"What the heck's your problem?" she whispered hastily, "Daisuke's going to think—"

"I don't care what Daisuke thinks." I interrupted. "I wanted you to leave me alone, but of course you had to be nosy and try and pull off the blanket. You saw what you wanted to see. Now get out of my sight."

Again, that same incredulity. The kind of look that asked me, "What happened to Risa? Who are you?"

When I expected her to say something, she solemnly walked out the door instead, with only her lonely footsteps giving her company.

After she left I thought: what _was _wrong with me?

**(Satoshi)**

"I don't understand, Dark." I whispered into the darkness. Look at me, awake at two in the morning and talking to myself. This had been happening for a while. Talking to myself, imagining someone was there. This was the consequence of being alone for the majority of my life. This was the proof that humans aren't meant to be alone. Excluding the Hikari family.

_Hello there_

_The angel from my nightmare_

Despite the fact that I was alone, I still saw the Phantom Thief sitting near my open window. I'd been having rather peculiar conversations with him lately. It only happened at night, when I was alone in my room. I must have been going crazy. But I guess it was what you'd expect of someone who just realized his only reason for living just sealed himself along with his evil twin, leaving him purposeless. They wouldn't come out until long after I was dead, of course. But if he was sealed, then why did I keep seeing him? If there was an explanation for it, I certainly hadn't found it yet.

_"You know exactly what I mean. You just don't want to admit it to yourself."_

"I don't know what you mean. No one's waiting for me."

_"Yes she is. She's waiting. But you have to hurry_." Dark's black wings expanded, shaking off loose feathers as he prepared to take flight. The discarded plumes wafted around me and into the wind, carrying Dark with them. I shouted out the window for him to come back. At the time I didn't consider the possibility that someone could have heard me, that I'd only embarrass myself if I yelled out the window like that. Answers were the only thing that mattered to me.

"Dark!"

_"Time's running out..." _was the last thing he said as he disappeared into the night, leaving me questioning myself. Questioning what I hoped was a surreal dream.

The next morning, the sky was too bright to bear. The orange rays of the sun seeped through the window blinds and rested on my tired figure. Despite my low blood pressure, I woke up earlier than normal. My thoughts were too jumbled, my mind too excited. It was quite a trying task to get myself to rest at all last night – much less stay asleep.

A black feather rested on my pillow.

But it couldn't be. It wasn't real.

Was it?


	2. Feelings

**Rewritten: 5/24/2012**

**Chapter 2: Feelings**

**(Risa)**

It was getting worse. The hurt. The pain inside. I just didn't get it.

I spent my days at school looking at the clock. Things never seemed to be going faster. When I was in pain, time went slower just to spite me.

I tried to keep my eyes off him, but I proved undedicated to the task and looked in his direction anyway. At least he didn't know I was staring. He was still slouched back in his seat, paying as much attention to the teacher as I was.

Satoshi Hikari looked out the window, like he'd been doing since the whole affair with Dark had come to a close, and his purpose with it. Now, he lived for no one. He was bound to the world, but the world wasn't bound to him. Maybe if Dark were still around, he'd scribble in those plans in his little black book again. I wonder what the last thing he wrote in his notebook was before—

"Miss Harada."

I turned around to face the teacher. Her hands at her hips, she glared at me for not paying attention. She could have at least yelled at Hikari too—he wasn't paying attention either.

"I would appreciate it if you'd listen. We have a test coming up and this is your review."

"Argh… shut _up_."

The teacher stiffened. The same expression of disbelief Riku had given me yesterday now greeted me again. My heart skipped. What the hell was wrong with me?

_"You're a shadow of your former self, Risa. Who are you turning into now?"_

I'm still Risa! I've always been Risa! Haven't I…?

Small gasps and whispers bubbled around the classroom.

"Stand up, Miss Harada," she said, stern. She harshly scribbled a referral and sent me off, but not without first imploring me to analyze that what I said was unbecoming.

_"What is wrong with you?"_

I didn't know. Maybe if I knew the pain would stop. I would stop hurting…

I felt my heart squeeze. He was looking at me now. This couldn't be happening.

His once emotionless blue eyes were filled with worry. Not only him. Daisuke and Riku saw it too. Their faces all said the same thing.

"_Who are you? What happened to Risa?"_

After a 45 minute detention, I opened the door and walked into an empty home. Finding no signs of life, I stepped inside, fearful that instead of coming home as she normally did, she stopped by Mom's job and told her what happened in class today. But then again, even if she _did_ do that, she should've been home by now. Where was she?

A dark figure rose from the darkness and stepped towards me. Her slender fingers touched my shoulder. Riku.

"What?" I shrugged her off. "What do you want? And why is the house so dark?"

"Risa, something's wrong. I know it. You have to tell me."

I hated having a twin sometimes. Since twins were internally connected, they could always tell what the other was feeling. When Riku was sick, I stayed home. When I didn't want to eat, Riku starved herself. It was so stupid.

"You want to know what's wrong with me? The damn house is dark and you're nagging me like we're married or something!" I went to the nearest lamp and turned it on. As the light flooded our living room, so did Riku's face with surprise. Tear streaks were visible, running down the length of her cheeks.

"And you're cursing, too! You never cursed before!" she wiped her reddened cheeks in vain. The tears kept coming regardless. "Are you even my sister anymore?"

Before I could scold her for making such a stupid accusation, the door flung open again. My mother shut the door. I saw in her expression our own faces when we were upset.

"You should be ashamed of yourself. When I was your age I _always_ respected my elders. You never, _ever_ tell a teacher to 'shut up'. I didn't raise you to talk to anyone like that!"

I gasped. "Riku! Why did you—"

My mother grabbed my arm to restrain me before Riku could so much as flinch. It was a good thing she did too; all our lives we got into fights about things like this. I'd pull on Riku's hair for ratting me out, and vice-versa. Situations between Riku and I tended to lean toward the melodramatic when our parents got involved – especially when we had promised to keep our misdeeds secret from them. If Mom or Dad confronted one of us, we'd know who squealed. We had gotten into a lot of scuffles this way.

"Don't yell at Riku. She didn't tell me." My mother hooked her arm around mine and dragged me upstairs. My back toward her, I went in without protest. "You're not coming out until dinner time. I want you to evaluate how you've been treating others lately, and get your act together."

She closed the door. I heard her descend the stairs. She said some things to Riku. She was probably trying to console her.

Locking me in my own room until dinner time wasn't really a punishment at all. In a way, it worked out for everyone. I got my time alone and Riku was protected from my wrath. At dinnertime Dad would come home, thus keeping us from fighting. Mom was one thing, but Dad was another. He was stronger than her and could pull us both apart.

I passed the time thinking about what happened at school. Everyone saw me. They were all witnesses. Worst of all, Satoshi was among them. I could hardly believe what came out of my own mouth.

At the dinner table, Riku didn't dare to look at me. She gingerly prodded her broccoli with a fork. The clanking of silverware irritated Mom, and insisted she stop. If I were Riku, I'd be picking at my food too. She was doing it because she knew I was going to clock her as soon as she was alone. She told Mom I yelled at the teacher and got a detention. And she was going to pay for it.

My father set down his fork and sighed. "Risa, I just don't get you. You've been like this for two whole months. Yelling at Riku, yelling at your mother, and now the _teacher?_ You have a family, you know, and families talk to each other."

I groaned.

"And speaking of your teacher," my father continued, "I've been getting complaints from her about your grades."

Riku shook her head. Mom's face became stern and she folded her hands on the table. She took over the scolding from there.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, but—"

"Is it a boy?" My father asked.

Satoshi's face flooded my thoughts. The way he looked at me. Peered into me. Standing up at his desk, imploring.

_"It's because you're not happy, Risa."_

I couldn't answer.

Riku flipped through the channels after dinner. Mom sat on a rocking chair with her arms folded, teetering slowly back and forth. Dad lounged on the couch. Whenever Dad was quiet, you knew he wasn't happy. After a lecture like that, none of them let a word escape their lips. Everyone patiently waited for Riku to decide what she wanted to watch. I was busy cleaning up the table. Whoever upset the family got to wash the dishes, despite the fact that it was usually Mom's chore.

Looking at the sink, I really didn't want to. It was nearly full, and I hated scrubbing out the big pots. I ran into the living room with a plate in my hand. I slammed it on the floor. It shattered into pieces with a great crash. The shattered fragments slid across the floor and came to a stop at a hundred different places. Mom and Riku were the first to whip their heads around and look up at me.

"I shouldn't have to do the dishes just because everyone else is mad at me!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mom grabbed my shoulders and shook me, hoping I'd come back to my senses. It didn't work. I doubted even a slap across the face would. I pushed her away from me, harder than I intended. She staggered and almost fell down. Before she could, Dad broke her fall. Riku ran up to me and pushed me back.

"Why did you hit Mom?"

I pushed her back with more force. She landed on her butt. By the time Dad stepped in, I had already snatched my book bag and bolted out the door and into the rain. I ran as fast as my legs wold carry me, leaving Dad and Riku's frantic cries to come back behind me.

After what seemed like an eternity of running, I hit park in the downtown area. I sluggishly dragged my tired legs to the monkey bars, and rested gratefully against them. While I focused on catching my breath, the cars raced by. Waves of water splashed around in the streets. The pattering of rainfall was the only thing I could hear besides my own panting. I strained my eyes to adjust my blurry vision. Since the downpour was so strong, I struggled to see well.

I wiped my dark, soaked strands out of my face and took a hair band from my pocket. I always had one at hand for times like these. Since my hair was so long and thick, it would get in my face if I didn't have anything to keep it back. I secured my hair in a low pony tail and stood. The back of my calves still throbbed from running, but I couldn't stay at the park. Being considerate of my aching muscles already had me soaked through. I had to get out of this rain somehow. Looking around, I didn't recognize any of the houses in this area. It was gradually getting darker. To make things worse, I was pretty far from home. I shivered there until it hit me.

I knew just where to go.

**(Satoshi)**

Two months ago, I went to bed at 1 am. But now my normal bedtime was 3 in the morning. It was all Dark's fault. He wouldn't leave me alone. Tonight, I decided to go to bed earlier than normal to drone out his nagging voice, all in the hopes that he'd go away sooner than he normally would. Thankfully, I was drifting off to sleep. Unfortunately, I had always been a light sleeper, and Dark had no intention of leaving whether I was awake or asleep.

_"I wouldn't go to sleep now if I were you. You're just giving your nightmares an early invitation. Besides, who wouldn't want to talk to me? I'm awesome."_

He wouldn't be dissuaded by a lack of conversation or being ignored. If anything, it fueled his desire to annoy me.

"Who wouldn't want to talk to you?" I scoffed. "Me, for example. And no, you're not awesome. You're a womanizer and a criminal and I can hardly bear your presence, so go away."

_"Aw, come on,"_ Dark smirked_, "You know you don't mean that. When I finally decide to go you yell at me to come back."_

"That's only because—"

Before I could come up with an insult, I gave up. My languid body had made my hostility fail me. Dark laughed at the lack of a comeback. I scowled and hid my face underneath the covers.

"Just do me a favor and be quiet."

Dark got up from the window sill and crouched next to me. He sighed.

_"This is great. It's like we're roommates. Except I only come around at night."_

"I'm trying to sleep."

_"Sleep while you can."_

I already felt myself slipping into a weird dream. But I'd rather it were a weird dream than a nightmare.

A young girl with brown hair sobbed to herself in her room. I couldn't tell who it was. Her identity evaded me. Her voice sounded familiar, so I couldn't exactly dismiss her as some arbitrary apparition. I knew I'd heard it somewhere before.

_"Just shut up!" _she shouted.

Risa.

A different scene. What appeared to be the same girl was sitting by herself on a spacious balcony that overlooked the entire city. The view was breathtaking. She wore a light pink nightgown that fluttered prettily in the night air. Her chestnut hair danced to the wind.

Wait a minute.

It couldn't be.

I called out to her, but my voice went unheard. She ran up to the edge of the balcony. Her frilly light pink gown billowed around her trotting feet. She climbed up the railing, spread her arms like an angel about to take flight, and leapt. My heart stopped.

_"Risa!"_

Reality startled me awake in the form of my ringing doorbell. I was in a sweat. My shirt clung to my chest. I was panting hard. I put a palm between my ribcage to soothe my heart's erratic beating. I glanced to my side. Dark glared at me. Had he been awake the entire time, watching me?

_"What do you think you're doing Hikari? Answer the door."_

In a daze, I walked to my door wondering who it could be. It couldn't be Daisuke because he would only come by to give me my homework when I missed school. It couldn't be Takeshi because he usually came right along with Daisuke. The Harada sisters were even more unlikely. I hardly knew Riku and Risa and I weren't talking much these days…

I opened the door. There, soaked and shivering, was Risa.

Risa Harada...

The angel from my dream.


	3. From Pain To Paradise

**Rewritten: 5/25/2012**

**Chapter 3: From Pain To Paradise**

**(Satoshi) **

"I'm sorry to bother you. I know it's late, and you didn't expect me to come, but..."

She pushed a few strands out of her face and breathed. Her hair was in a low ponytail. She usually didn't wear her hair like that unless she was in gym class. She didn't even have a jacket on. Her eyes were half-lidded, like she was going to fall asleep right on my porch. She was still wearing her school uniform, soaked and sticking to her body.

"Please. Come in."

She exhaled and approached me carefully. I didn't understand what I did to intimidate her, but I saw a glimmer of fear in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just got into a fight with my family, and I ran away…" she looked down. If she hadn't been so wet from the rain I could swear she was crying.

She got in trouble with her family. Figures. After all, she did tell the teacher to shut up.

"Wait here." I said. I walked into my bathroom, opening a large white cabinet near the bathtub and pulled out a soft towel. I came back and handed it to her. She blushed at me and smiled.

"You're so kind." She dried her face off. I watched her the entire time. She was beautiful, especially up close.

"You said you ran away?"

She handed the towel back to me. A sigh and a nod.

"I didn't want to wash the dishes, so I went into the living room and slammed a plate on the floor and it broke…"

I sat down on the couch, placing the towel on my lap. She slammed a plate on the floor because she didn't want to do the dishes? That didn't sound like her at all. Of course, people acted differently when they were in school as opposed to being at home, but then again, Risa _had_ been doing a lot of things that she wouldn't normally do, regardless of where she was.

"And, well, my mother grabbed me and started shaking my shoulders, so I hit her—"

"You _hit _your mother?" My eyes widened. This _really _didn't sound like Risa. She didn't seem the type to hit anyone, much less her own mother. "Sorry. Continue."

She narrowed her eyes in shame. I wondered what horribly uncharacteristic thing she'd say she did next.

"Well, I didn't _really _hit her, I pushed her actually. But she almost fell down. My dad broke her fall and then Riku confronted me…"

That actually sounded like Riku. For a while I thought she couldn't possibly be Daisuke's sacred maiden because of how pugnacious she was.

But to think that Risa would slam a plate on the floor and push her mother… I felt a little nauseous.

I nodded, and gestured her to continue.

"Then I got really mad, so I pushed Riku back too. She fell really hard."

"What was your father doing during all this?" I crossed my leg and rested my head on my knuckles. I felt like a therapist.

"He was helping Mom get back on her feet. Before he could grab me, I snatched my book bag and ran out the door."

She hadn't asked me for advice, but if she did, I would've told her that you didn't strike your mother and sister because you didn't want to do the dishes. What she just told me was simply ludicrous. How could she do something like that? Not to mention what happened in class.

_"It's your fault, Hikari. You're the reason. You've always been the reason..."_

That comment caught me off guard. Blame _me_ for Risa's behavior? Everyone was responsible for their own actions. How could Dark pin her temper tantrums on me?

"Hikari-kun, I was wondering if..." she cleared her throat, "If you'd let me spend the night here."

Risa's behavior was getting worse. Dark said it was my fault. Now she wanted to spend the night here. I was already going to spend the night with Dark, and now Harada? I couldn't get a good night's sleep by myself as it was. With her in the house…

"I don't know, Miss Harada…"

"It's Risa."

Being on a first name basis with Risa was strange to me. Daisuke was one thing, but Risa and I didn't know each other that well. Up until now, our interactions consisted of passing glances and waves in the hallway, usually issued by Risa herself. Why the informalities now?

I couldn't tell her to go home. Not only would I feel guilty about it, but Dark would probably guilt trip me as well. I could just imagine him going on and on about why you didn't send a girl home in the rain, which would keep me up for the rest of the night. Not that having Risa spend the night here wouldn't keep me up anyway.

"I'm sure your parents are very worried about you. Maybe the best thing to do—"

A tear escaped her eye.

"I'm sorry, Miss—Risa, but…" I stood up and wiped the tear from her cheek with the back of my hand, "I don't want you to keep your parents up all night wondering where you are."

"Please," she begged, sobbing into my nightshirt. Her tears seeped through the material. I couldn't send her home like this. I'd never forgive myself. I sighed. It would be only for one night.

I grasped her shoulders and rubbed them. Her skin was cold, so I wrapped the towel around her.

"Alright. You can stay tonight. But tell your parents that you were somewhere else." I whispered. "Somewhere safer. Not a boy's house."

She sniffed and breathed slowly, and did something I didn't expect. She embraced me. The unexpected contact made me gasp.

"Mi—Risa," I struggled.

"Thank you so much...Satoshi. For letting me stay. It means a lot to me."

Her arms loosened around me, and for a moment I felt a twinge of sadness. Her touch had left me.

How foolish of me, to think such a thing. I was Satoshi Hikari.

I wasn't meant to love.

_"You do. You love her, Hikari." _Dark whispered. "_You always have."_

I didn't love her. I just liked her embrace. A silly infatuation, at best. Not love.

"_Then what are you feeling?"_

Happy.

I sat next to her on the couch. She sniffed again. She gave me a warm smile.

"I should take your temperature. You might have a cold." I placed a hand on her forehead. Just as I thought. She was burning up.

"Risa, you have a fever."

She laughed and held her cheek, looking down at the floor timidly. "I think I do have a cold. I'm sorry, I don't want you to catch it. You should stay away from me."

How could I stay away from her when she was spending the night in my house? It was hard enough not to stare at her during class.

_"How could you stay away from her when she's your—"_

_Shush._

She wasn't mine. She'd never be.

_"But you wish she was, and that's not what I was going to say."_

I wondered if I'd shown a glint of hurt in my eyes when she said that. She looked at me in such a way I almost thought she did. Whatever she saw in my eyes she could never see again. It was emotion. Even with Krad long gone...

I won't feel that pain inside again. I refuse to.

"You know I never realized how kind you can be. We never really talked much, so I thought you didn't like me..." she started.

I wasn't supposed to feel this way. I couldn't feel this way.

"I'm sorry. I must talk way too much. Does it annoy you that I never shut up?" she laughed.

"No, of course not. Don't say such silly things." I got up from the couch and got her a thermometer. She placed it under her tongue. I felt like I was her father and she was my 5 year old daughter. With the thermometer at an angle because of her smile, she appeared to be smoking a hookah or something. I looked away, fearing that I'd blush soon. I couldn't have her looking at me like that. I'd get ideas…

_"What kind of ideas?"_

If she looked at me too long, I'd want to kiss her.

_"You should."_

He needed to bother someone else. He was an art thief, not a matchmaker.

_"I'm not a match-maker, but I will be if you want me to be."_

I bid him be quiet.

I took the thermometer out of her mouth and looked at the results, which weren't good.

"You're running a temperature of 102. You should lie down and get some rest."

"Oh, thanks."

She cleared her throat and coughed like she had tuberculosis. I felt so sorry for her, suffering like that. She ran out into the rain, caught a cold, and stood at my door, shivering, waiting for me to take her in. What Dark said to me last night suddenly became clear.

"_She's waiting for you, Hikari..."_

"Miss Harada, you're very sick. I'm going to get you some medicine."

"It's..." she coughed again, "Risa."

Her name came out weak.

"I apologize...Risa."

After her medicine, her coughing was less frequent. She thanked me and gave me a hug for 'being nice'. Of course I didn't return it. I was already conscience-stricken for feeling anything from it as it was.

It was half-past midnight when she finally decided to retire. I wouldn't fall asleep for another few hours, even if I managed to pull off an earlier bedtime.

Risa didn't mind sleeping on the couch, but I insisted she sleep on my bed tonight. It wasn't gentlemen-like to let a young woman sleep on the couch. But of course she won me over, leaving me guilty for letting her lay there.

Supine in my bed, I looked out the window, waiting for sleep to come.

_"So she preferred the couch to the bed. So what? You're still a gentleman." _Dark said.

I just didn't get it. Why would she want to stay with me, of all people? She was one of the most popular girls at school. She was bound to have friends all over Azumano. Did she just seek refuge at my house because she knew her family wouldn't search for her here?

Dark sighed. "_You're running out of time, Hikari."_

Running out of time? To do what? Figure out what was wrong with her? I didn't know what to do.

_"Like I said before, you know exactly what I'm talking about. You just don't want to admit it."_

Admit what?

_"That you're in love with her, but you're afraid…"_

After that statement, he disappeared for the rest of the night. Leaving me alone, just like a Hikari should be.

She would never love me. There was nothing to love about me. I distanced myself from everyone else, I ignored others on purpose – the list of my antisocial tendencies went on.

Even if I did tell her…

She wouldn't return my feelings.

It could never be. These feelings could never be.

I slowly arose from my bed, having made up a decision to visit her in her sleep. I walked down the hall from my room and approached the couch.

Her hair was strewn about her face in a disorderly fashion, though it didn't change the fact that she looked alluring even in her sleep. Her cheeks and nose were a little pink from all the sneezing and coughing, and her little fingers were clenched tightly around my blanket.

I wondered what she was dreaming about.

I leaned forward and caressed her cheek. My hand trailed down to her chest and rested there for a moment. Her heart beat steadily. I had never seen Risa this calm before. Her perfect breasts moved to the tranquil beat of her heart. Fighting the humiliating urge to touch them, I took my hand away. At least no one would ever know I entertained such thoughts.

I kissed her lips for the briefest moment, wanting to feel what I felt when she embraced me. I opened my eyes and stepped away, fearing she might wake. But she didn't. Her lips, her small nose, her unkempt hair - same as it was before.

Cute.

My leg bumped up against something. I turned over. Her book bag, where she'd dropped it before. Curious, I unzipped it and pulled out a red folder. There were pages upon pages of uncompleted homework. As I'd bemoaned before, this wasn't like Risa. While she didn't do so great in any of her classes (the teacher would let me grade the tests from time to time, and some of Risa's scores made me want to cry), it just wasn't like her to stop doing her work. I flipped through it until I came upon a small slip of paper. Her report card.

_History: 57_

_Algebra 2: 63_

_Biology: 59_

_Modern Literature: 60_

I never realized how bad it was. First she yelled at the teacher, then she got into a fight with her mother and sister, and now she had all D's and F's.

Risa... What had happened to you? Was this really all my fault?

**(Risa)**

For the first time in 2 months, I felt happy. At first I thought tonight's big quarrel would bother me all night. But surprisingly, I had the most peaceful night's sleep that I'd had in a while. The pain inside stopped. I actually fell asleep without a tear.

I awoke that morning to Satoshi gently nudging my shoulder. Since I had gone to bed so late last night, I stupidly forgot I came here. I mistook it my house.

"Satoshi? Why are you here?"

Satoshi arched a brow. "What are you talking about, Risa? This is my house."

"Huh? Oh yeah..." I chuckled and yawned, stretching out my arms and legs to play off my embarrassment. Stupid, stupid.

"Listen, Risa. If you wish, I can stay home and take care of you, or I could go to school and drop you off at your house on the way."

Satoshi Hikari, taking care of me? Why was he being so kind? Did he pity me?

"What do you mean?"

"You're sick. You've got a very bad cold. That's no condition to show up to school in. And I can't leave you alone at my house. So do you want me to take care of you or bring you home?"

Home meant an angry Riku. Home meant an angry Mom and Dad. They probably were searching for me all night. They might have even called the cops. I couldn't go home. They'd kill me. Besides, if I went home, and Satoshi left me -

My heart would start to break again.

Wait.

It started to make sense now.

The hurt inside. The pain. The temper tantrums. Crying myself to sleep.

It was because –

I was in love with him. Oh my God.

The pain in my chest stopped hurting...whenever I was near him. What other explanation was there?

"Could you… stay home with me?" I pinched his collar, an unnecessary gesture of desperation.

"…Alright." he stood up and adjusted his collar. "If you need anything, just tell me."

My heart pounded through my chest. He was going to spend the whole day catering to me.

This could have been what paradise was like. I almost blushed.

I got up from the couch even though Satoshi told me I should rest some more. I noticed something peculiar.

My book bag looked like it'd been messed with.

"My book bag wasn't like this before. Did you bump into it?"

Satoshi's blue eyes glimmered. What was that supposed to mean?

I gasped and grabbed my book bag, searching for anything tampered with, or missing entirely.

"I didn't touch your belongings, Risa."

I didn't believe him. I pulled out my red folder, which bore the most embarrassing things. I looked up him. My face colored.

"You saw it, didn't you? You saw the homework, my report card!" I stood up and dropped my book bag. The papers spread all over the floor like I dropped a newspaper.

"You saw everything!" I cried.

Satoshi's eyes flared with panic. He knew about all those D's and F's. Another example of my foolishness.

I stepped toward him so quickly he might have thought I was going to hit him. His eyes widened and he gasped.

"Miss H—"

"It's Risa, damn it!"

The doorbell rang. I gasped and darted behind the couch. Satoshi took a few moments to recover. Maybe… I really _was_ going to hit him. Just as my anger spiraled out of control with my own family, it would happen to him too. What if the doorbell hadn't rung when it did? How would I have made an even bigger fool out of myself then?

"Risa..." his voice was low."What's happening to you?"

I didn't know. I was scared.

Hearing Satoshi pad to the door interrupted my thoughts.

He couldn't answer the door! What if the police were there?

The door opened. I covered my mouth. It was the last voice I wanted to hear at the moment.

"Hey, Hiwatari-kun, " she sniffed.

Riku.

She was crying? For me?

"Hello, Miss Harada. How may I help you?"

Ugh. He called Riku 'Miss Harada', too. Now I realized why I never liked it when he called me that. It was like we might as well have been the same person to him. Well, he could call _her_ Miss Harada all he wanted. But he was going to call me Risa.

The few moments of silence only unnerved me more. I was afraid she might actually want to come in and inspect his house. Like me, she wasn't an easy person to dupe.

"Risa's here isn't she?" she raised her voice. "I know it!"

Speak of the devil.

Satoshi didn't answer. A red flag.

How could she know that I'm here? Twin's intuition? It was perfectly possible. But there'd be no other way to know. It wasn't like I left anything lying around –

My book bag. I left it in front of the couch!

_You idiot!_ I inwardly chided.

Satoshi sighed. "I'm not sure this is the best time to be disturbing her…"

I couldn't see what was happening from where I was, but judging from the silence, I suspected I would soon be sold out. He could have pointed to the couch and mouthed the words and I wouldn't even know. Not being able to take it anymore, I emerged. The blanket Satoshi gave me last night was wrapped around me.

Riku and Satoshi watched me as I rose.

"You spent the night at Hikari's?" she asked.

"I'm not going with you, Riku. So just forget it."

Riku's face washed over with worry. "But you have to! Mom and Dad are worried sick about you! You have to let them know—"

"How did you know I was here, Riku?" I shot back. "Where would you get the idea to come here?"

Riku lost her nerve. "Well, I…"

She looked down and messed with her fingers, pushed a few strands out of her face. So reminiscent of me. Whenever she did that, a confession of some sort usually followed.

"I see the way you look at him in class and I just thought...if you ran away, you just might go to Satoshi's house."

Satoshi's eyes glimmered the same way they did when I yelled at him for looking through my things. That same glimmer of surprise.

Satoshi looked at me now, peering into me. Damn you, Riku.

I knew if I spoke it wouldn't be with a straight voice, and tears would follow. I made for the door. Satoshi's blanket billowed behind me as I ran. Before I could make it out his front door, a hand firmly grasped my shoulders and swung me around. Satoshi.

"Risa, don't run away!"

"Leave me alone!" I pleaded.

"It's okay, Risa." he said. "Everything's going to be okay."

Now that he knew – now that he knew that I liked him as more than a friend – how could I face him? Everything _wasn't_ going to be okay! I wasn't ready to face my own feelings so soon, much less let him know how I felt. This was a disaster!

I turned away from him and shrouded myself in his blanket. It was childish, I knew, but I couldn't think of any other way to shield me from my own humiliation. Riku's fast footfalls soon caught up to him and stopped abruptly. His hands rested on my shoulders and rubbed them. I expected him to say something but he didn't. Instead he just caressed my shoulders, allowing me to ride out my feelings.

I slowly pulled the blanket off of my face and gazed at his gorgeous eyes. He smiled back at me.

"You're okay now?"

The way he looked at me. That warm feeling. I guess that was what love felt like – peace and oneness. I smiled back. He wiped my cheeks with the back of his hand. I grasped his hand in mine and held it there. The moment was pristine.

"I take it you're happy now?" she laughed.

I scoffed playfully. "Shut up, Riku."

But she was right. I did feel happy. The pain had all but disappeared.


	4. Tears

**Rewritten: 6/6/2012**

**Chapter 4: Tears  
**

**(Risa)**

I returned home to my parents. In between hugs and kisses, they told me they rounded up some of the neighbors and looked for me for several hours. If I hadn't come home that morning, they would have called the cops. I was glad it didn't come to that. After all the tearful exchanges, Riku and I retired.

I was still irritated that she told Satoshi I stare at him during class, but I let bygones be bygones. I sat down on my bed ran my fingers through my knotted mess of hair. Riku hugged her knees and stared out the window.

Time seemed to have slowed. I think it was because of Riku. We were twins, so I would always be able to read her mood.

Rain drops pattered on the window sill.

When Riku and I were little girls, she used to say that rain was the tears of the world.

"I'm sorry." I turned away.

She pointed to the downpour.

"Look Risa, it's everyone's tears."

She went to bed afterward, leaving me to wonder if I was forgiven.

We went to class the next morning without a word to each other. I had the feeling everything that needed to be said between us had been said.

Riku, Daisuke, Satoshi and I had study hall together 4th period. I couldn't be bothered to be productive. The papers in that red folder would only pile up.

Satoshi Hikari sat up straight, scribbling in his little black book. After what happened yesterday, I thought he would talk to me again. But he was just as distant as he'd always been. He was acting like it didn't even happen.

To make things worse, the happy couple was it again.

I knew they'd always be together.

Would I always be alone?

"I love you," Daisuke whispered.

Riku blushed. "I love you too."

The pain hit me hard.

Before it could worsen, I hurried out the door. I could hear faint gasps. The teacher called after me.

"Come back, Risa!"

It sounded like Riku.

I bolted up a flight of steps and stopped at the 4th floor. No one was here. I opened the door to the roof. The wind blew the hair from my face and cooled me. The scent of rain was in the air. I blinked away the blur and sat on the floor. I wanted to stay on the roof and never be found by anyone. My heart throbbed.

Why was I so easy to upset?

Someone turned the knob. I jumped up and looked around. There was nowhere to hide. I backed away and anticipated an unwelcome face.

"What are you doing on the roof, Risa?"

"Just leave me alone, Satoshi."

"I wish you would tell me what's wrong."

He already knew what was wrong. He just wanted to hear me say it. Once I had my back to him I wiped my face.

"I'm such a baby," I scoffed.

"Don't feel too badly about it. I've been this way too."

"You cried?"

He chuckled and pocketed his hands. "Not me, right? I'm a robot."

"What did you cry about?"

His smile faded. I regretted asking.

"Since Dark left, I've been having a difficult time finding another thing to dedicate my life to, aside from crime-fighting. But Dark had been the reason behind that too."

A strange comfort came from his words. Just like me, he was unsure of what the future held.

He must be feeling that pain inside. The emptiness. Just like me.

"Then why don't you spend your time with anyone?"

"I'm in the police force. I don't exactly have a lot of time to spare for social interaction outside of work."

I was right about that too. It was disheartening to know.

"Come inside. I'll walk with you." he said.

"Are you sure?"

"It would be my pleasure."

After what occurred in 4th period, I didn't feel like being in Riku's presence. Satoshi and I parted ways after our last class, and I walked home alone. My mother was watching TV by herself in the living room.

I shut the door to my room and locked it. My mother called out something indistinct.

I knew what the problem was now.

"_What is wrong with you?"_

I was in love.

_"In love with who?"_

Satoshi.

_"But?"_

I didn't think he loved me back. He wouldn't have time for something like that anyway. He wouldn't have time for me.

**(Satoshi)**

Before Dark and Krad were sealed, I didn't dream. Now that they were gone, I dreamed all the time.

I stood outside the Harada home with Dark at my side. The streets were black and empty, except for the Harada home. Small yellow lights shone through the windows. Risa walked up to the balcony. Dark and I looked up at her, but she didn't notice.

Risa sat on her bed, crying. She wore the same gown as she did in the previous dream.

_"You love her, Hikari. You always have."_

The very sentence made my stomach knot.

My unwilling eyes fluttered open. Dark sat by the window, where I expected him to be. But something wasn't right. A look at the clock revealed it to be only 9:45. I never fell asleep this early, much less caught Dark anytime before midnight.

_"_What were you doing all this time?"

"_Watching you sleep."_

When my blood pressure stabilized, I snatched my cell phone by my bedside table and dialed her number.

"Hello, may I speak to Mrs. Harada, please?"

"Yes, this is Mrs. Harada."

"My name is Satoshi Hikari. I'm one of Risa's classmates."

"Oh, of course! I remember you. Did Risa get in trouble with the teacher again?"

"No. I actually wanted to talk to you about something else."

"What happened?"

"Risa, Riku, Daisuke and I all have study hall together. During class, I think something upset her. It might have been related to Riku and Daisuke, but I'm not sure."

"Well, what did they do?"

"They said they loved each other. Risa looked pained and rushed out of the classroom."

"Where did she go?"

"She was on the roof when I found her."

A pause on the other line. "Did she get angry?"

I remembered Risa's explanation of her fight with her mother and sister. The morning after, she found out I had messed with her belongings and became very upset. If the doorbell hadn't rung when it did, I couldn't be certain she wouldn't have hit me. I had never seen her so angry before.

"May I speak to Risa for a moment?"

"I'm sorry, but she locked her door and hasn't come out all day. We've been trying to get her to come out, but she won't even talk to us."

My heart sunk.

"I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize. I'm glad you called. I'm still not so sure what's up with her, but maybe she'll come around."

"Good night, Mrs. Harada."

"Good night."

I sighed as I closed my cell phone. What to do?

Dark crossed his arms and shook his head. "_Your sacred maiden... She needs you."_

**(Risa)**

All I can hear is the clock ticking. A soft voice broke the silence.

"Risa, honey, are you okay?"

My mother.

She sighed. "Look, I know you don't want to talk to me right now, but I just thought I'd let you know that Satoshi called me to tell me what happened in study hall today."

Satoshi called my mom? How did he get our number? I had never given it to him, so it could be him.

"That was Riku wasn't it? Riku's the one who's been ratting me out!"

"No, she hasn't," she said.

"What?"

"Riku hasn't been telling me what you've been doing. She's too afraid of you." Her voice shook. _"I'm_ afraid of you, Risa. I'm afraid that you might do something… _drastic_."

"What're you saying?"

"It was Satoshi the entire time. He went to my job after school the day you yelled at the teacher. And he called me today to tell me you were on the roof."

I should've decked him when I had the chance.

"Risa?"

"Leave me alone."

I drew away from the door. I placed my feet in between the bars of the railing and peered down at the yellow lights of Azumano.

He didn't tell my mom what I was doing in class because he was trying to stir up trouble, or ruin my life, I realized. Satoshi would never do that. He had only ever been there when I needed him.

He must have done it because he cared about me.

**(Satoshi)**

Dark and I looked up at her. As the dream had predicted, Risa didn't notice. Her gaze rested on the city before her.

"I hope she's not angry with me." I pocketed my phone.

With a smile, he said, "_Don't worry, I'm sure she's not."_


	5. The Warning

(Satoshi)

The rain is falling again. It elicits a childhood memory, from when I was just in kindergarden. I cant believe I can even remember that far back. The teacher was a tall woman with her hair always wrapped up in a curly bun, with a pencil to hold her hair in place. Her glasses liked to slip off the tip of her nose occasionally, and I smiled at remembering that I too once had the same problem. If theres one thing I'll never forget about her, it was the way she smiled at me. While the other children had problems adding and subtracting and remembering their abc's, I was ahead of them all, even knowing how to read prior to my arrival. I think her favorite part of the day was when I displayed my superior intelligence on the blackboard, writing out the simplest addition problems and answering them for the whole class to stare at me in envy. I was the teacher's pet, to put it simply.

She would watch me all the time with the palm of her hand resting on her chin, grinning at me. I tried not to show her how annoying that was, because my deceased stepfather used to always tell me to watch the way I look at people. I never listened to him of course.But no matter how much I secretly dispised her, I couldnt hide the fact that I secretly liked her too. To her, I was a living paragon. So, obviously, I always had special privledges. One of my special privledges came about at the end of class. I was to hear about her latest marital disputes until my stepfather arrived, late as always, to save me.

As I walked away from her, I would glace back, just for the sake of seeing the dissapointed look on her face as I left. But when I looked back I never saw that expression. She smiled at me the same way she did during class, with her palm resting on her chin. At that moment I knew why her smile never changed. She knew I was going to come back the next day.

I guess that sums up the relationship between Dark and I. Whenever I engaged in a conversation with him, he always found some way to escape. But as he left he looked back at me, expecting to see a look of dissapointment. But I smiled back at him with the unwavering confidence that he would be back the following night. That would be when I ensnared him in yet another trap.

The last day of an awkward kindergarden year had left my teacher in tears. Her glasses slipped off the tip of her nose and she didnt bother to adjust her glasses. She claimed she was going to miss the entire class, but the class wasnt going to miss her. She wasnt going to miss her class either. She was only mourning the departure of one student: me. Every day after school she would tell me that she just knew her husband was up to something, but on the last day of kindergarden, she didnt. Instead, after all the children left, she looked around to make sure that no one was watching, then she hugged me and sobbed. Not sure how to react, I flatly told her it was okay and that maybe I would see her again someday. When she looked at me, her smile was slightly different then than it had been before. As her tears slid down her pink cheeks, she told me something I would never forget: "Thank you for listening."

With that said, she dissapeared behind the front doors of the school and left me there in the rain. I never saw her again.

When my stupid stepfather arrived later than normal, he asked where the teacher was.He was sue-happy then, so I decided not to tell him she had left me. I knew he would be infuriated, and the teacher wouldnt want him on her back on top of her problems with a unfaithful husband. So I just told him she was absent. Infact, after my stepfather died, a relative of his told me that the hundreds of thousands of dollars he had left me were money he obtained from past lawsuits.

Anyway, now to the point of this lengthy story. Whenever Dark left, I knew he would be coming back to steal another of my family's artwork. The day he was sealed it rained later on that night, and I cried for him. Just as my teacher had lost probably the only person that would listen to her, I had lost the only person who gave my life purpose.

But I was not the only person left without a purpose in Dark's absence. This is why Risa is acting the way she is. She's mourning the departure of the only man she ever loved.

The dreams I was having made me realize how much she's been suffering since then. The reason she ran out the classroom was not because of Daisuke and Riku themselves, but because of what they said to eachother. The words "I love you", provoked memories of Dark, I'm assuming.

Once again I am confined in my lonely room at 2 in the morning, gazing at a Phantom Theif sitting near my open window.

"Are you just here to keep me company, or are you here to annoy me?"

Dark smiled and tilted his head in a matter-of-factly sort of way. _"Both, actually." _he chuckled and averted his attention to the night sky.

During all this deep pondering, Dark was just sitting by the window and keeping his mouth shut, which is really unlike him.Usually when I'm contemplating something, Dark will interrrupt my thoughts because the silence bores him.

"Then how come you're not annoying me? All this time I was thinking, you could've snapped me out of it."

"_Well, you were getting real close to an epiphany so I decided not to disturb you."_ he said.

"Epiphany? That's the biggest word you've used yet." I smiled.

_"Yeah, I guess I've been hanging around you too long."_ he laughed and threw his head back. I didnt think that was so hilarious. If Daisuke hung around me too long he'd probably start getting better grades.

Speaking of grades...I remembered back on the night Risa slept over. That red folder of hers was filled with uncompleted and overdue schoolwork. Dark's absence wasnt only impacting her behavior, it was impacting her academic preformance. Well, if she had one to begin with...now that I think of all those extremely low test scores. Hmm...didnt she have an 8 on this one test...?

_"You think to much." _Dark finally took his cue and interrupted my thoughts.

"I cant think too much with you around. Your always here to stop my mental monologues." I reached under my pillow and pulled out my little black book. It's spine was bent from its frequent use in the past, and the cover was folded over itself. I flipped through the worn pages and stopped at a random place in the book. It was an exerpt from "Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost. It read:

_The woods are lovely, dark and deep,_

_But I have promises to keep_

_And miles to go before I sleep_

_And miles to go before I sleep_

The reason I wrote this down was because it reminded me of the time when I wanted to die so badly to free myself from the burden of dealing with my inner psychopath, but with the help of a certain redhaired freind, I reconsidered.

As I continued flipping through the pages, I shook my head at all the silly things I wrote in here. Daisuke's odd behavior, plans to capture Dark, belittling Dark for his weakness for beautiful women, my deep hatred of Krad...along with poems, lyrics, to do list, homework assignments...and Risa's sudden change of personality.

Not only those things, but all the dreams I had about her. In my first dream, I saw Risa crying in her room, then it skipped to a part where she jumped off her own balcony. Then the second dream showed her crying in her room again, and the scene changed, showing Dark and I standing outside her home. What could that mean?

I closed my black book and peered at Dark sitting solemnly by his lonesome in the corner of my bedroom. "Dark, she didnt start to...act that way until after you and Krad were sealed."

Dark nodded to acknowledge he heard me.

"But you said to me once...the night she slept over...that I was 'the reason', and it's all my fault, and then after I got off the phone with her mother you called her my sacred maiden."

He nodded again with a furtive smirk.

"I thought at first, she was only acting that way because she was sad that you were never going to come back."

_"That's not it,"_ he shook his head,"_You're the one she stares at during class, not me."_

Dark had a point. Recalling what Riku said, it kind of made sense:"I see the way you look at him in class.."

I've never noticed her staring at me during class because I wasnt paying attention to anything in particular at the time. I was too busy staring off into space, loathing my desultory lifestyle.

Dark told me that Risa is my sacred maiden.Accepting his claim would mean that her current behavior has nothing to do with him, but with me. Why would she be depressed because of me? Am I neglecting her? Is that why she...

She was waiting for me at my doorstep the night she slept over. Did she go to my house because she wanted to be with me?

Does she feel the same way about me that I feel for her...? But she cant tell me how she feels...so is that why she's suffering?

_"You have found your epiphany, my freind." _Dark said triumphantly.

"But.." was the only word I could manage to utter in my shock.

_"She's your sacred maiden.You and her are bound by destiny, but because of your fear of getting hurt, you were defying it.That, ultimately, is what's causing her suffering. She needs you."_

"Dark--" he interrupted me before I could even had a chance to protest.

_"You and Risa belong together. Keep playing this self-doubt game, and her condition is only going to get worse."_

My whole life I was raised to believe that because of my family legacy, emotion was strictly forbidden. But now that my curse has released me from his clutching hand...

It's okay to feel these feelings. I can feel this way about her...

I could feel myself blushing. Dark is just tricking me. He's not even here.

"Y-your crazy." I shook my head.

Dark chuckled. "_That's funny. I'm not the one who talks to Phantom Theives in his room at night."_

After his little insult, the elusive theif dissapeared. He still hasnt told me why he's been visiting me. Maybe he's just the product of a deranged teenager who knows loneliness all too well.

The curtains swayed from the light breeze coming through my open window, bringing a feather with it. The feather was one of Dark's. A beautiful ebony feather. I caught it before it could get lost in my room. I closed my eyes, letting it carress my cheek. I thought of letting it fly away in the wind, but decided against it. Bending down, I dragged my hand along the underside of my bed, searching for an old shoe box I kept under here.

"Should be in here somewhere..." I muttered. My fingers traced the length of the cardboard. I grasped the shoe box and placed my black book in there. Besides my notebook, there was a small collection of his shedded feathers in the corner of the box. I placed the new feather in there and closed it, then put it under my bed for safe keeping. I dont know what provoked me to save his feathers...proof that I'm not going crazy and Dark is really visiting me in my room at night, perhaps.

Now that Dark got his message across to me, does that mean I'm really, _truely_ alone now? Was Dark just a figment of my imagination? Maybe his existence was so prevalent in my life, I've started to hallucinate because my mind doesnt want to accept he's really gone.

Hmm...maybe. I'll know for sure tommorrow. That's when I'll tell her...

Risa...

My precious angel...

My sacred maiden.

(Risa)

Lately I've been feeling a very strong pain in me. Like my heart is breaking. I know why now, why I'm hurting. My only problem...

Is that I dont know how to make it stop.

My heart is aching, but it ceases when I'm near him. When I'm with him, I'm happy. When I'm away from him, I'm miserable.

But I cant tell him how I feel.

He doesnt have time for me...and how could I ever expect him to love me back?

I clench my chest, hoping the pain will go away soon. But it's not going away. It's like I have a bad case of heartburn.Why does it have to hurt so bad?

"Risa?"

I snap back into reality to gaze into my sister's glassy eyes. "What's wrong with you?"

"Huh? How did you know that something was wrong? You were downstairs." I said.

"My chest felt tight...I dont know..." she squeezed her shirt and breathed slowly. She can feel my hearbreak...in herself.

"Is it...Satoshi?"

It seemed stupid to ignore her, but the heartache I was feeling was sending signals of pain throughout my body, droning out her voice. Everytime she said something, her words seemed to slip farther and farther away from me. The pain is separating me from reality somehow..

"Risa..Risa..."

I got up from the couch, wanting to walk and not really knowing why. Maybe its a primal instinct. Wanting to move when in pain. I could not hear the ticking of the clock anymore. When your in pain, time goes slower just to spite you.

I walked past her hazy figure and headed down the steps. The stairs seemed so far away from the ground. I was starting to fear that I would never reach the end. When I finally reached the last step, everything around me...the door, the windows, the couch and the tv giving off colors my mind couldnt interpret...all seemed so disoriented and distant. I couldnt see things clearly anymore. And all I could feel...

Is the pain...

"Risa..." a soft voice whispered. I turned around to see a mixture of colors arranging themselves in Riku's shape.She was probably yelling my name over and over again, but my mind was so disconnected from everything around me that I couldnt pick up her screaming. She grabbed my shoulders and shook me violently. Getting annoyed, I pushed her away and tried to run, but my legs were so tired they wouldnt obey me. As I walked around my home, it didnt seem I really was at home. Everything around me was composed of exessively vivid colors dancing around as if they were alive. This must be what crazy people see everyday.

In a dizzy mixture of pain and rainbows, I could hear people--or maybe it was just Riku--calling me softly.Before my mind was concious of where I had stopped, I realized I was in what couldve been the kitchen. I saw a taller swirl of dark color standing at the sink. That could've been my mother's dark chocolate hair. She probably wasnt paying attention to me. She was busy washing the dishes. Maybe she was starting to wash the dishes now for the sake of saving herself from another one of my temper tantrums. In my delirious state, I wanted to retreat to my room. Before I could move, my father's firm hands wrapped themselves around my shoulders and spun me around to face his colorful figure. I tried to talk, but I couldnt feel my mouth moving. He quickly snatched me up and took me up a never ending staircase transcending upward into nothing. From my blurred vision, all I could see was bright swirls of pink, which was undoubtably, my room. I gently fell upon my soft covers.Their frantic voices seemed so far away from me now.

All I can see...

Is blackness...

All I can hear...

Is the ticking of the clock.

All I can feel...

Is the pain..

After hours of aching silence, voices started to rise. I couldnt see who was talking because everything was covered in blackness. I must be dreaming.

But I know who's talking. It's my father...and Riku.

"I dont think it's a good idea that she goes to school tommorrow, honey."

"But...I cant just leave her here alone."

"Exactly.You'll be staying with her when your mother and I are at work."

"But..."

"And dont let her go outside, even if she says she's feeling better.The last thing we need is for her to run away again.God knows where she was that night.."

A few moments of silence. I hope, in those moments of silence Riku didnt rat me out. She knows I was at Satoshi's house. If she tells...ohh...wait until I get her alone...

But wait a minute. Maybe the silence meant that she didnt know what to say to him. Or maybe she pushed some of her hair out of her face and started messing with her fingers like she always does when she's about to embarrass me or whenever she's feeling guilty. Whatever she did in those noiseless minutes remained unknown to me.

_"...she's afraid of you, Risa..." _my mother's voice echoed in my mind.

I guess Riku isnt the only one. Dad doesnt trust me either.

_And this will not remain forever_

_However it's beautiful_

_Your eyes, hands and warm smile_

_They're my treasure_

_It's hard to forget_

The pain is unbearable. It's like my heart is no longer aching, but bleeding. It happens every time I'm away from him. When I'm near him, I'm happy. When I'm away from him, I'm miserable. Something has to give. What do I have to do to make this pain go away?

_I wish there was a solution_

_Dont spend your time in confusion_

_I'll turn back now and spread_

_My broken wings_

_Still strong enough to cross the ocean with_

_My broken wings_

_How far should I go drifting in the wind?_

The pain ceases when I'm around him, but gets worse when I walk away. What do I have to do?

_"Confess." _A foreign voice I've never heard before says to me. Moments later, a lustrous, transparent figure appears. He's emitting golden light. I squint my eyes and try to adjust the sight. All I can make out is his long, gold hair, and his pure white wings. He looks...familiar to me...I know...I've seen him before...

Who are you?

_"That's not important." _he says softly.

Then why are you here?

_"To help you and your broken soul, sweet child."_

Please tell me...what do I have to do?

"_Confess_." he repeated. The word echoed in my mind, then dissapeared. This voice...it sounded familiar somehow...

_Higher and higher in the light (My broken wings)_

_Still strong enough to cross the ocean with_

_My broken wings_

_How far should I go drifting in the wind?_

_Across the sky just keep on_

_flying..._

He gently grasps my hands and examines them. He turned my left hand over and traced the vein in my wrist.Perplexed by his action, I ask him what he's doing. He doesnt answer me. As I slip back into reality, my sleepy eyes flutter open. There, standing at my bedside, is a dark figure. She has her hand at her mouth, as I startled her by waking up.

My mother.

_keisoku no dekinai itami to keisoku no dekinai jikan no nagare ga_

_subete wo uemete shimaou to shite mo_

_sore demo watashi ni wa kanjirareru_

_sora kara ochite kuru no wa ame de wa nakute. . ._

She turns around and walks hastily to my bedroom door and closes it behind her, and her dark chocolate hair sways away from my sight. What was she doing here? Why was she looking at my hands? Too tired to ponder, I drifted back into my senseless dreams.

_Did I ever chain you down to my heart_

_'Cause I was afraid of you?_

_No, I couldn't hold any longer_

_Love is not a toy_

_Let go of me now_

_The time we spent is perpetual_

_Our future is not real_

_I'll leap into the air_

_My broken wings still strong enough to cross the ocean with_

_My broken wings How far should I go drifting in the wind_

_Higher and higher in the light_

_My broken wings still strong enough to cross the ocean with_

_My broken wings How far should I go drifting in the wind_

_Across the sky, just keep on flying..._

The next morning, before my eyes dared to open, I feared that those random colors would be the only things I would see. My heart is small and breaking now, frail.The pain is still very present, and it's burning now. It's like a mixture of anxiety and fear, and most definitely heartbreak. When I did open my eyes, my normal vision returned to me.Smiling in my relief, I slowly rose up to face the day. But this wasnt a normal day. Every normal aspect of my family life ended a long time ago. My father doesnt trust me...my mother and sister fear me...and the only person that will take away these feelings doesnt have time for me. My smile fades as these pessimistic thoughts begin to sink in. The daylight is too much to bear now, and I want to go back to sleep. But the only things standing between me and sleep is an unfamiliar wind blowing through my hair...

The balcony doors are open.

_sora kara ochite kuru no wa ame de wa nakute. . ._

And there's a white feather resting on my pillow. But it cant be real. It isnt real...is it?

(The lyrics in italics were from Trinity Blood's ending theme ''Broken Wings" for those of you who didnt know)


	6. An Angel Falls

Risa's part of the chapter is a bit psychotic, maybe even schizophrenic, and certainly delirious, but it mostly consists of things people have said to her or the voice in her own head has said to her in the past that drives her off the edge.Her side is mostly emotional, and deals with her internal conflicts and miseries.Enjoy!

(Satoshi) music selection: ''All Eyes On Me" by the Goo Goo Dolls

_Daylight burns your sleepy eyes and _

_It's hard to see you dreaming_

_You hide inside yourself and _

_I wondered what you're thinking_

_And everything you're chasing_

_It seems to leave you empty_

Year after year, my blood pressure gets more annoying. My little 'episodes' with it seem to have extended to more than just half and hour. More than just half an hour of gazing at the wall and thinking of absolutely nothing. But this morning is different. I'm actually pondering something that I've been contemplating even in my dreams.

My angel. Risa Harada. She never leaves my thoughts now. She was never far from my heart at all. From the moment I met her, I always had a secret interest in her.Looking back on all those times I stared at her as she left the classroom, I didnt know why she captivated me like she did. But now I do. Fragments of what Dark said to me in previous nights float around in my dizzy head.

_"You love her...sacred maiden...you and her...destiny..."_

_And it won't take long to burn_

_All eyes on me_

_Through the nothing that you've learned_

_All eyes on me_

_And the things you choose to be_

_All eyes on me_

Speaking of Dark, where is he now? Does he hide somewhere during the day and comes to visit me at night? This room is so lonely without him..

Lonely? Oh great, I dont miss him now, do I?

_But your eyes look away_

_It's so hard to be someone_

_Strung out from today_

_And all that you knew slips away_

Looking at my reflection in the mirror brought me pain in the past.When Dark still flew through the night sky over the city's sleepy streets, and Krad kept me awake at night with his unbearable tauntings, I never looked in the mirror.All I would see was him.When I looked at that reflection, usually with tears in my eyes, he would say to me,"Do you see how _I_ am the only one you see in this mirror?That is because I am the one who truely deserves this body."

Even as a child, I was terrified by mirrors, because I knew he was there.Now I'm staring at a drowsy kid who just got out of bed, with his usually sleek blue hair sticking up at wierd angles.I grab the comb on the the table next to my bed and straighten my hair out.When I feel my hair is presentable, I take off my clothes and throw them in the corner.Another childhood fear of mine--taking my clothes off.When Krad and I still shared the same body, the least I changed was my white overshirt, my socks, and my underwear.I wouldnt take off my orange undershirt because if Krad saw my bare chest he would want to touch me, and the very thought terrified me to no end.I only changed my clothes when it was absolutely necessary, in fear of acidentally tempting Krad to do something unspeakable.I also hated taking showers, and you can imagine why.

But now I can do simple, everyday things without a prevalent dread accompanied by a psychopathic ''angel'' in the back of my mind.Ready for the day, I grabbed my bookbag and headed out the door.Feeling nervous, a feeling foreign to me--I thought about telling Risa how I felt.I've never had a crush or been in love with anyone before.For a time I thought I was in love with Daisuke.Sometimes I would stay up until 3 in the morning, just thinking about him walking to his locker or clumsily tripping over his own feet.He intrigued me because back then, he was the one and only person who liked me simply because of who I was, he didnt fear me or dispise me.Now he's my most cherished friend.

_You drown in deeper oceans_

_Inventing new religions_

_They smile and stab my back and_

_I lie and have to laugh_

Two months ago, he told me that a certain person will be glad I'm alive.I know I'm glad that I'm alive, but did he mean me or did he know that I had a sacred maiden too?

These thoughts puzzle me on the way to school.I'll have a headache before long If I dont stop this discursive thinking.I shake my head and try to get my mind on other things.

_And it wont take long to burn_

_All eyes on me_

_Through the nothing that you've learned_

_All eyes on me_

_And the things you choose to be_

_All eyes on me_

Like telling a certain Risa Harada that I've fallen in love with her..

_But your eyes look away_

_It's so hard to be someone_

_Strung out from today_

_And all that you knew slips away_

I'm at the front of a deserted school that wont be lonely for long.I got here 15 minutes early, as I do everyday.I walk up the steps and to my first period class, here even before the teacher is.I sat down and thought of something to do.When I realized there was nothing to do, as much as I would like to say it wasnt true, I secretly want Dark to talk to me.

_And you hide in your room_

_And the light burned away_

_And you move from the truth_

_It's all so far from you_

After a while the teacher comes in and begins writing on the blackboard.Minutes later,the students lazily walk into the classroom and take their seats.Looking around, everyone seems to be present, except...

"Risa Harada." the teacher is looking at her attendence list and doesnt realize she's calling out to an empty seat.

"She's absent." Daisuke confirms.

The teacher looks up at him. "She is? Okay." she whispered as she crossed off ''Risa Harada'' on the attendence list.

"Riku Harada." the teacher calls, again without looking to the desk to confirm it.

Daisuke gazes at Riku's empty seat with suprise.His eyes widen, and then narrow.He whispered something incoherent to himself and looked down as if he was ashamed of himself.He probably whispered "Riku", but I cant be sure.The moment he realized Riku wasnt here either, his mood drastically changed.It was one thing for Risa to be absent.But now that Riku is absent...

"Riku not here either,eh?" the teacher mumbles to herself, scratching yet another name off her attendance list."Must be sick."

Judging by the look on his face, I'd say his entire day was ruined.Dont worry, Daisuke.You're not the only one.

I stare at Risa's empty seat, and I feel like my heart was just stabbed.I mean literally stabbed.I was going to tell her today...

I was going to tell her...but she isnt here...

What if I dont have the courage to tell her how I feel tommorrow? What if I start doubting myself again? No! I dont have time for doubting!

_"I dont have time for that."_

A memory of yesterday pops up in my head.I was on the roof with Risa when I said that.Why did I tell her that? She looked so hurt..

Great, Hikari.Now she thinks you dont want to spend time with her.If I got a nickle for everytime I sent someone the wrong message...

Augh! Risa...I wanted to tell you today.I'm in love with you...

But you're not here...

Is it because of me? If you see me...

Will you still hurt inside...?

She didnt come to school today because of me..

Daisuke and I are on the roof, eating lunch, as we do everyday.It's amazing the things Daisuke and I have in common.We're both miserable, we both dont want to eat, and we're both not talking to eachother.This is kinda creepy on Daisuke's part, because if there's one thing he probably loves more than Riku, it's babbling.

Daisuke stretches out his peanut-butter jelly sandwhich (his mom still makes him peanut butter jelly?) and toys with it, almost like he's pondering the wisdom of eating it.He sighs heavily to himself and puts his chin on his palm.He looks over to me, staring at his sandwhich and pondering what age Emiko thinks her son really is.

My red-haired freind knows that I think what his mother gave him for lunch is peculiar, and whines,"Hey, now dont start thinking my mom is wierd or anything!"

He's too late for that.I smirk and shake my head."Of course not.I'm just envying you, Daisuke." I lied.

Daisuke cheers up a little bit and smiles."Why?"

"Well, I dont have a mother to make me peanut butter jelly sandwiches..."

"_Satoshi!" _Daisuke pouted."Stop making fun of me!"

"I'm not."

Daisuke crosses his arms and glares at me.I look away and grab my little grape juicy juice and present it to him.

"See, Daisuke? You're not the only one who likes things that 5-year olds do."

Daisuke giggles and rips off half of his sandwhich and shoves it in his mouth, smiling to himself.When he swallows, his smile fades and he looks down.He was deep in thought, so I decided not to disturb him.

''Hey, do you think Risa is alright?" he inquired.

I didnt want to worry him, and I didnt want to lie to him.But I had to choose one of them.If I told him the truth, he would spend the rest of the day worrying about Risa, and Riku's absence already has him depressed.If I lied to him, I would walk away feeling guilty.Risa isnt alright..

I know because I feel like I have butterflies fluttering in my stomach.That's a bad feeling.Things Risa said to me just randomly come up in my thoughts.

_"You saw everything!"_

_"It's Risa, dammit!"_

_"Please...take care of me..."_

If she was alright she wouldnt have said any of those things.She wouldnt have yelled at me because she knew I saw her report card.She would've have attempted to hurt me.She wouldnt have looked at me with those pleading deep brown eyes of hers, begging me to stay and take care of her while she was sick.

"I hope..." I murmur.

He frowns and shakes his head. "I hope so too.."

It couldnt be helped.Any answer I gave him would've have dissapointed him somehow.

His head shot up."Oh yeah...I remember...you ran out of class after her yesterday.Where did she go?"

"The roof." I replied.

"How come?"

"There's no one up here.You can cry in silence." I was looking up to the sky when I said this, completely zoned out.

"Why was she so upset?"

Because you said you loved eachother..

"I dont know.She didnt tell me why."

"Why not? You should've pushed it until she spilled!" Daisuke said angrily."Obviously, no one's going to help her if she doesnt tell anyone what her problem is!"

_"...bound by destiny...but you were afraid...that...is what's causing her suffering..."_

I know what's wrong.Now I just have to fix it.

"But Daisuke, if I pushed the issue, I might've ended up hurting her even more." I reasoned.

Daisuke saw my logic and shamefully lowered his head."Yeah, you're right.I'm sorry."

"No, dont be." I said as I put my hand on his shoulder."I wish she would just come out and tell me too."

"I dont get it.If Risa's feeling this way, then how come Riku...? I mean, their twins, right? Dont they have some kind of special connection that lets them know what the other one is feeling?"

I thought about the night Risa slept over again.She said that after she pushed her mom, 'Riku started getting up in my face'.

"From what I heard...Riku isnt being much of a help." I said.

Daisuke sinks back into deep contemplation, and stays silent for a while.Minutes pass...

Out of nowhere, he asks:

"Satoshi...have you ever missed someone?"

His question sends me into my personal sea of painful memories.I'm sitting near the open window in my lonely room at 4 in the morning.The air blowing in swims through my hair and cools my wet cheeks.I was vigilantly watching the night sky, wishfully thinking that Dark's black figure would suddenly appear and sweep down on the large tower with the giant clock.Like a bird resting on it's perch, he would sit there and smile to himself, with a stolen art piece tucked away in Daisuke's bookbag.

My heart feels heavy at the thought of him leaving forever.I actually did like to chase him around the museum, scaring him with my calm and composed figure suddenly emerging from the shadows the moment he was about to steal something.I missed it for 2 whole months, yearned for it for 2 whole months.I had sat by that window many nights before, staring at the moon as it dissapeared from the purple sky... as my eyes let fresh tears through.He left me there.

Just like my kindergarden teacher left me there in the rain...

_"Damn you,Dark." _I whispered to myself on those painful, lonely nights.

Yes, Daisuke, I have missed someone before.But I'd never tell you that.

"Satoshi..?" Daisuke nudged my shoulder with a concerned look on his face.

I snap out of my depressing recollection and stare at him.

"I'm afraid not." I answer, finally.

"Oh.." Daisuke frowned and rested his arms on his knees.

"Well, this may sound stupid, but whenever Riku is absent from school, I get depressed.I feel like..."he clenches his chest,"...my insides are hurting."

That could be what Risa is feeling right now.She could be weeping on her bed right now, and I cant even help her..

She could feel like her insides are hurting too, just like Daisuke.

_"...her condition is only going to get worse."_

Or...

She could hurt _herself_. Dammit, why didnt this come to mind before? I had a dream that she jumped off her balcony! I dreamed she committed suicide!

She wouldnt do that...

Would she...?

(Risa)

The clock reads 8:57.

Riku disabled my alarm.

So it was real.I didnt dream that she was talking to dad.In those painful, noiseless hours, dad had told Riku to turn off my alarm.He didnt want us to go to school today because of me...

I gazed once again at the suspicious white feather laying on my pillow.The feather belongs to that angel from my dreams.He's so familiar, but I just cant place the name...

Didnt it start with a ''C'' or a ''K''--oh! Krad! The other one...

I forgot that Hikari had another side of himself too...

How wierd.Why would I be dreaming of him? Of all people? I touched the feather.It was softer than anything I had ever touched.What shocked me was that, not only did I feel it, the feather is real.But I was just dreaming..

He couldnt be real.He cant be!

In confusion, I stepped out of my bed and looked over to Riku's.Her blanket was hanging off the edge, and her pillow still had the dent in it from where she layed her head.She must be downstairs eating some cereal.

I trot downstairs and into the kitchen, expecting to see Riku with a spoon in her hand and a mouth full of Reeses Pieces, but what I prepared myself to see was far from what I was looking at.

Riku fidgets with the window lock and secures it.She goes over to the back door and rotates the door knob.She peeks through the window blind and stares for a few moments.She was so consumed in her activities she didnt even acknowledge my presence.She goes back to the door and unlocks it, opening it and staring at our backyard.

"..nothing's messed with.." she almost inaudibly mumbled to herself.She closed the door and our gazes locked.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She looks behind her as if what she was about to say was top secret, and whispered,"I saw some guy in our room last night...I want to know how he got in."

No...it was...a _dream!!_

You dont mean to tell me that some..._pervert_ was in our room last night...standing near my bed??

"No," I shake my head,"That...that was mom.She was in our room last night."

"No she wasnt! Some guy--or at least I _think_ it was a guy, was in our room! He was standing right near your bed, Risa!"

"Then what was he doing?!"

"He..." she pointed to my arm."He was...looking at your hands."

My eyes widen.I look at my hands and study them.The angel--Krad--he was examining my hands.But why..?

_"...you're the type to do something...drastic..."_

Drastic? Out of nowhere, my mind envisions bloody wrists.They bleed and bleed...and the blood drips into darkness.Reguardless of what Riku claims she saw, I woke up to my mother.My mother was checking my hands because...

"She thought I was cutting myself..." I whispered.

"What did you say?" said Riku.

I clench my fists as a burning rage spreads through my entire body.My mom thinks I was cutting myself?! I look around frantically for something to break.I just need to smash something! I catch sight of her bookbag and grab it.I swing it around and it hits random things in the house.A bouquet in a vase on the kitchen table is hurled from it's place and smashes to pieces, resulting in an explosion of water, glass and fragments of rose pedals.

Riku screams and flies backward from the shock.Still swinging the bookbag around, I hit glass cups on the kitchen counter that shatter instantly.I hammered the floor in a final act of fury, and papers fly in the air and gently waft down.Breathing hard and waiting for the anger to die down, Riku's trembling figure is sprawled on the floor, covering her head and sobbing.Her red, glassy orbs meet my angry ones, and she says breathlessly:

"Who are you...? What did you do with my sister..?"

My eyes widen and my body freezes as I realize the seriousness of what I just did.Humiliated beyond comprehension, I burst into tears and run upstairs.I open the door and swing it shut.The sound of the loud slam echos throughout the house.I lock it and fall to my knees.I bang my head on the ground and try to pull myself together, but there is only chaos inside my mind.

Oh no.No, no no...what I did I just do? Why did I do that? I didnt mean to...I just got so angry I...

This happened before...at Satoshi's house...

_"Risa...what are you turning into..?"_

I dont know! I dont know! I'm scared! I dont want to feel these feelings! I dont want to feel hurt!

"RISA!!" Riku shouts from the other side of the door."OPEN THE DOOR!!" she screams as she pounds on the door with urgency.

I want to die...

I'm sick of the noise.I want it to stop.Why wont the clock stop ticking??

_Tick Tick._

I can only feel the pain..

_Tick Tick._

I feel like dying.

"RISA!!!"

Before I can come to a rational decision, the open balcony doors catch my eye.Release.

_Tick Tick._

"PLEASE!!"

Her cries only intensify my desire to die.Her screams are making my head throb.Memories are making me ache.The teacher yells at me.

_"What is wrong with you?!"_

The angel in my head...everything he said to me...

_"Your a shadow of your former self, Risa.Who are you turning into now?"_

Why do I want to die? Why am I feeling this pain inside..?

_"It's because you're not happy, Risa."_

Hazy colors take over my vision.I cant see clearly anymore.Riku's pleading sobs and screams...

they're so distant from me now.

"Risa...Risa..."

A beautiful blue swirl comes into view outside the balcony doors.I want to follow it.I get up and run torward the blue light, but its distancing itself from me.Like Satoshi, the blue swirl keeps it's distance from me.But I wont let it go.I run up to it, but it dissapears from my sight.

Just like Satoshi...

"RISA PLEASE!" Riku cries hysterically.She knows what I'm going to do.She senses it.She can feel my desire to die...in herself.

I climb up the railing and spread my arms out.I only need to tilt backward a little bit to fall off.I loose my balance on purpose, and I fall.

_"Dont lie to yourself, Risa.He hurts you everyday."_

Well...now...he wont hurt me anymore...

_"RISA NOOO!!!"_

(That was a little dark, but I hoped you liked it reguardless.)


	7. Spreading Wings

_Dum Dum Dum!_ The last chapter!! Hope you like!

(Satoshi) Music Selection: "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls

I looked at the clock above the black board.

The clock reads 8:43.

I sat in 5th period biology, trying to silence the urge to run out of the classroom and straight to Risa's house.This feeling...those butterflies...

They won't let me go.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

_Cause I know you feel me somehow_

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't want to go home right now_

All the while I'm sitting here, I can't think of anything but her.I envision her yelling at her mother and pushing her away.I see her grabbing her bookbag and running out of her house and into the rain.

_"You saw everything!"_

Now I see her looking at me, her dark brown eyes flaring with fury...she's raising her fist at me.I won't forget the panic I felt when I knew she was going to hurt me.It was like she turned into someone else.

She runs out of my house.The blanket I gave her is still wrapped around her.She collapses to the floor and shields herself from everything.I consoled her.We looked into eachother's eyes for the longest moment, until Riku interrupted.

And then the roof episode...

_''Just leave me alone, Satoshi."_

I can't leave you alone anymore.I neglected you...

I didn't know you loved me...

But I do now.I'm going to fix what I've done.

_All I can taste is this moment_

_And all I can breath is your life_

_And sooner or later it's over_

_I just don't want to miss you tonight_

Having made up my mind to see her, I get up and grab my belongings and sprint out the door.Daisuke yells my name, but I ignore him.The teacher calls after me, but I only run faster.

I want to be with her...

I run down the hallways, zooming past lockers and squealing girls.Finally out of the building, I put my hands on my knees and try to catch my breath.

I...need...mode...of...transportation...

I might not get there in time...Risa's house is pretty far from the school.

There's no time to lose.I have to get there as soon as possible.The feeling in my gut is only getting worse.

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

I walk out and onto the sidewalks.No one's out here.It's completely deserted.How am I going to find a mode of transportation in this ghost town? All I see are parked cars lined against the sidewalk.Desolate streets.Empty houses.All the adults are at work.All the children and teenagers are at school.I'm the outsider who just ran out of the school for seemingly no reason, standing here and looking like a fool.What am I going to do now?

My insides are churning with dread of a horrible thing to come.I decide to run to quell my aching stomach.It's not working.Pandemonium rings in my ears.

What if she's not alright? What if something happened to her?

Have I run out of time already?

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_

_Or the moment of truth in your lies_

_When everything feels like the movies_

_Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive_

Knowing these thoughts won't help me get to Risa's home any faster,I banish them from my mind.I run around a corner and the solution to my dilemma comes with in the form of a teenager who should be at school now.The paper boy.He's strolling down the street, clumsily throwing rolled up newspapers at people's houses.I run after him, attempting to steal his bike.I make sure to keep away from his sight so I can go through with my plan.

I can't believe what I'm thinking.I'm actually contemplating theft.How ironic.I was a police officer devoted to protecting the greater good, but now I'm just a delusional teenager who's about to rob the unsuspecting paper boy. Am I really going to go through with this?

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

First I run out of the school and completely ditch Daisuke, and now I'm going to...

Risa's frilly pink gown sways away from her feet as she climbs the railing of her balcony.

The clock ticks for the final time.

She falls off.

...ohwell.I guess there's a first time for everything, Hikari.

I run up to him at full speed and violently shove him off his bike.

"What the hell?" he yells in suprise as he hits the pavement.

Before I can take off, he grabs hold of my foot in an attempt to fling me off his bike.I grunt and shake my leg off of his grip.I lunge forward on the pedal and zoom away while he yells at me from the distance.

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

"I'm sorry!" I yell back."I'll return it later!"

Yeah, I'll return your bike.Unless of course I can't find you or I forget.Atleast I gave him false hope.I swerve down another street as the feelings inside intensify.Somehow I know that these feelings aren't my own.It's almost like...

I know what Risa is feeling right now.

The heartbreak.

The pain.

I can feel it...in myself.

I turn another corner.Her house is in clear view now.I pedal faster as I approach her home.I take a glimpse at my watch. It reads 9:02.

Simply on instinct, my eyes trail up to the balcony.My heart stops and the bike halts.

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

She's on the railing.

Risa Harada is standing on the railing, with her face turned away from me.Her brown hair is swaying in all different directions.She's wearing that frilly pink gown I saw her wearing in my dreams...

Just like my dream...

She slowly tilts back..

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am_

..and she falls.

_"RISAAAA!!!"_

(Risa)

I can't feel anything...

My mind is blurry...

I can't see anything but blackness...

Did I...?

It can't be...am I dead?

No, that's not right.I'm still concious.

_Riku points to the rain falling outside."Look Risa, it's the tears of all the people crying in the world.."_

_Satoshi's eyes widen."You hit your mother?"_

_My father looks at me questioningly from the other end of the dinner table."Is it a boy?"_

_Shattered fragments of glass slide across the floor and stop at a hundred different places._

_"..I smashed a plate on the floor and it broke.."_

I can't be dead.I can still remember...I still have my memories.

But I fell off the balcony.I remember tilting back, I remember falling, but before I hit the ground I blacked out..

Slowly...very, very slowly...my senses start to come back to me, one right after the other.

The first sense is touch.I can feel myself laying on something soft.The unknown object I'm laying on is moving up and down at a slothful pace.Is it Riku? Or one of my parents? Am I at home on my bed, laying on Riku?

The wind is blowing gently through my hair, tickling my cheeks.Water droplets are landing on my forehead...hands...toes...I can also feel the rough texture of dirt on my skin.My head is throbbing out of control.I think I have a headache..

My sense of taste comes back to me in the form of cool water seeping into my mouth.The bitter taste of blood welcomes me as well.I must've done a number on myself when I fell.Maybe I'm in the hospital.

Relief greets me with the tranquil scent of falling rain.I can smell soil and pinecones...they must be nearby..

Maybe I'm not in the hospital.I think I'm outside somewhere.If I'm outside...does that mean that no one knows I'm here? No one found me yet.I could be just a dead body laying on the ground.Wait a second, that can't be right...I'm thinking.I can feel.I can smell.I know I'm not dead..

Besides the familiar scent of soil and rain...I can smell...someone.I recognize this scent.But who is it from?

_"Please," I said as I sobbed into his white shirt.I was afraid he wasn't going to let me stay with him.I was afraid he was going to tell me to leave.But instead, he wiped the tears from my eyes with his hand and wrapped a warm towel around me._

Satoshi...

I love you...

The final sense of sight returns to me.At first, all I could see was a haze of imcomprehensible colors.But as my sight started to adjust, I could clearly see an upturned hand beside my face.It's my hand.I know because I recognize the chipped pink polish on my nails.The rain drips off my fingertips, hitting the muddy ground.

So I am outside.I somehow survived the fall.But that's impossible...our balcony is 20 feet high...

In the backround, I can see trees at different places.A group of green leaves are dancing in the air, and others are gently wafting down to the dewy grass.I can hear cracking branches, the low whistle of the wind.Thunder sounds.

My eyes strain to the blurry image of white on the ground.It _looks_ like snow...but that's extremely unlikely.In fact it's impossible for it to be snow.We're in May..

My heart starts beating at an alarming rate as I realize what I'm staring at isn't snow...it's soft and white...

It's...feathers.

Feathers?! But it's huge!

My vision adjusts...it's not snow.

It's a giant wing.

I jump back in fright and land on my behind.I can't believe what I'm seeing.I cup my mouth as tears form in the corner of my eyes.

Satoshi..

Satoshi is laying on his side, unconcious, and in his school uniform.Near his body is his bookbag, torn and muddy.His soggy books and papers are sprawled all over him on the ground.And he has wings.

I struggle to stand.I cautiously approach him to get a better look.If it weren't for the fact that we're in a forest, I would think he's just sleeping.

He looks just like a dead angel.

I revel at the sight.Is he even human?

No, no no...humans don't have _wings..._

I study his calm expression.His blue hair shades his eye lids, concealing his beautiful face.Cautiously, my hand trembling, I touch his soft, gentle hairs.They slide across my finger and tickle me.He's so beautiful..

I look over to his left wing.It's bleeding.Dread settles in my stomach as I realize what happened when I fell.

He spread his wings to try and save me...but my weight was too much for him to take so suddenly...and he crashed down with me.I hurt him...

Even more tears well up in my eyes and stream down my cheeks.

Oh Satoshi..._I hurt you!!_

"Satoshi..." a choke out a sob and lay my head on his chest.What if I killed him by accident?

No! I couldn't have! No, please don't let that happen!

I didn't mean to hurt him! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Please forgive me, Satoshi!

I squeeze his soaked shirt and wallow in my despair as my thoughts burst out of control.

I fell on him so hard I--!!

A twig cracks in the distance and disturbs my frenzied thoughts.I look up.

Riku.

She's standing there, her arms wrapped around a tree, gaping at Satoshi.Her mouth is quivering.She wants to say something, but she's too shocked to utter even one word.

If it wasn't for the rain, I could swear she was already crying.Her short red hair clung to her face, and her chin was dripping with water.Her crimson orbs were wide, filled with shock and terror.

"R-Riku...he's hurt..." I cried, clinging to his school shirt."Please...h-help me...I don't know what to do..!!"

She slowly advanced to us, her eyes glued to Satoshi.

"A-are...those...wings..?" she asked in bewilderment.She bent down to touch them.She glided her hand across the surface of his right wing, admiring it's otherworldly beauty.

"He's like an _angel_..." she whispered.

She looked at me.Her eyes were no longer filled with fear and awe.She knew what to do.

(Satoshi)

Augh...my head hurts...

What happened?

_"Hey there, Hikari." _says a familiar voice.

"Who...Dark...?"

Dark's figure appears.He's wearing that self-assured grin he usually does.I feel a warmness inside me.

I'm happy to see him..

"Dark..? What are you doing here?"

_"I just wanted to have a few words with you before I left." _he replied.

"Have I run out of time?"

_"No.You saved her."_

"I did?" I said in astonishment.

_"Yes.Before I go, will you promise me one thing?"_

"What?"

_"Love her and care for her...because she'll always be there for you.For the rest of your life."_

His image began to dissapear.I ran torwards him, but he was drifting away from me.

"No! Dark! Don't leave!" I cried.

_"You don't need me anymore."_

I grabbed his hand, but it vanished into thin air.

"Dark!" I called, desperately wanting him to come back.

Hours of nothing pass.

I can only see black.

My heart is throbbing.

He said I saved her.

But I can't feel her.

I can't feel anything..

And he still hasn't told me why he was there with me in my room..

Maybe he _was_ just a figment of my imagination after all.

Then all of a sudden, I feel a warm hand on my forehead.

_Risa?_

"Doesn't have a fever..."

_Riku?_

_Tick Tick._

A clock?

_Tick Tick._

I'm in someone's room? Did someone find me? Hello?

I wake up in an unfamiliar room.The room is covered with pink wallpaper.I'm laying on a comfy bed, which is also pink.I'm wet, cold, and my shirt and pants are covered with mud.I turn my head to the side, gazing at open balcony doors.The curtains flutter about wildly with the wind.I woke up in the middle of a thunderstorm, I assume.

I must be at Risa's house.

The Harada twins are standing side by side next to the bed I'm laying in.Riku has a thermometer in her hand.So that was her hand.She's the one who said,"Doesn't have a fever."

Risa catches my attention.Her hair is soaked.She has a bloody lip and a small scratch on her forehead.Her cheeks are stained with tears.She was crying for me?

I try to get up, but I feel heavy.It's like something is chained to my back and is pulling it down.

"No! Don't!" said Risa, gently pushing me back down."Rest for a while." she whispers softly.

I put a hand on my head."What...happened?"

"Risa jumped off the balcony.You saved her." Riku said, smiling.

Risa solemnly nodded and looked away.She was ashamed of herself.

Then it all comes back to me.I remember riding to her house.I remember robbing that kid.I remember looking at my watch.

"Riku..how did you know where we were? I woke up in the woods." Risa asked.

The woods? No wonder I'm covered in mud.

"I ran outside to try and catch you before you hit the ground..but when I opened the front door, all I saw was a broken bike..and a trail of leaves leading inot the forest next to our home." Riku turned to me,"I think when you caught her, both of you tumbled into the woods."

I look at my wet and dirty clothing.My arms and hands are smeared with dirt.And...augh..that heaviness again.I hurt myself more than I thought I did...I feel like I weigh a ton..

Riku looks intently at her sister, as if asking her a question without saying anything.Risa looks at me, frowing, and nods her head.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

Riku took a deep breath."Okay...try not to panic, but..." she pointed to a white thing next to my shoulder.

"What abou--" I gasp.

Is that a..._wing?_

I jump up and try to shake it off my back, until I realize...it's _part _of my back.The wings are heavy, making me weak.I want them to open, so I flex my muscles, and my wings spread apart.I relax my muscles, and the wings revert back to their folded shape.

This is no new experience.I've had wings before.

Whenever I turned into Krad, they would tear out through my back.It made me feel like I was being ripped apart from the inside.But when I saved Risa, I didn't feel that excruciating pain..

These aren't Krad's wings.They're my own.

Risa and Riku stare attentively with wonderment.I know Riku has seen Daisuke with wings before, but seeing me with them just astonishes her.

"I think...they came out when you saw Risa falling." Riku said.

"They must've.Otherwise, you wouldn't have been able to save me." Risa ran her fingers through my hair."Thank you."

Riku took her cue and left the room.Leaving just her and me..

Risa continued to stare at me, not uttering a word.Feeling nervous and uncomfortable, I blushed and looked away.

I can't have her stare at me like this...

I'll get ideas...

"Satoshi..."

I turned to her,"Yes?"

"Satoshi..I..." her voice broke, and within seconds, she burst into tears.

"Please..don't cry.I didn't mean to upset you.." I wiped away her tears with my hand.She grabbed my hand and held it close to her cheeks.

"I'm such a baby.." she whimpered.

"No, you're not."

"I'm always crying.."

"It's okay."

"I'm sorry I hurt you..."

"No, don't worry about it.It's alright."

"...I...I...love you..." she said.

I stared at her.She caught me completely off guard with that sentence.She just confessed to me...

When I was going to her house to confess to _her.._

Risa...

"But...i-if you don't feel the same way..," she wiped her tears and hiccuped,"I understand...I mean I don't want to...I know you don't have time for.."

I cupped her cheeks in my hand and kissed her.Her eyes widened in suprise...then they closed.

I never thought her kiss could be so...

Wonderful..

Her lips were so soft against mine.The perfect feeling...

I feel...happy now.

When I let go, she stood there, beautiful, and looking bewildered.

"I love you too.." I said.I pulled her into my arms and hugged her.

"I don't want to lose you.I just...I can't imagine a life...without you."

She smiled and rested her head on my shoulder as she embraced me.I want her stay and hold me forever..

"Satoshi...I'll always be here for you...forever." she whispered in my ear.

I smiled and kissed her forehead."I know.As will I."

The next day, Risa and I went back to my apartment after school.I felt so embarrassed telling her about my hallucinations, but she gave me a reply I didn't expect.

She gasped and exclaimed,"You too? I dreamed Krad was standing by my bed! He's the one who told me to..."she looked down and blushed."T-tell you...how I felt."

Krad? That doesn't sound like him at all.

He wouldn't want Risa and I together, would he?

Unless Dark somehow convinced him to help her or something...

"Your crazy." I chuckled, mocking myself more than her.

Risa pouted."I am not!"

We both smiled at eachother as I unlocked my apartment door.Risa sat on the couch, and I walked into my room, with only one unsettled issue on my mind. I bended down to get the cardboard box out from under my bed.I took a deep breath and anticipated what I would see.

I gulped, and slowly...

Slowly...

I opened the box.

The feathers...

_They're still here!! _I can't believe it!

Dark's shedded feathers are laying in a small pile in the corner of the shoe box, just where I left them...

So Dark wasn't a figment of my imagination...

He was real.

One of the last things Dark said to me whirl in my dizzy head.

_"You have found your epiphany, my friend."_

(Author)

Dark and Krad stood outside the Harada home, gazing at it's magnificence.Krad scoffed and crossed his arms.

_"I can't believe you made me help that pathetic girl win the love of my Satoshi."_ he scowled.

Dark chuckled._"Well, he's not your Satoshi anymore, is he?"_

Krad looked away and growled.

_"He's happy now, so don't worry."_

_"I swear if she breaks his heart I'll haunt her in her dreams for the rest of her life!"_ Krad said angrily."_She has no idea how fortunate she is."_

"I guess she'll spend the rest of her life finding out." Dark rested his hands on Krad's shoulder.

_"Hmph."_

_"Hey, Krad."_

He turned his attention to Dark

_"Will you promise me one thing?"_

_"What?"_

_"The next time Satoshi gets sad, you'll be there to help to him."_

Krad, puzzled by this request, gave Dark an odd look_."I'm not so sure that can be arranged.After all I've done to him, I don't think he'll ever forgive me.Do you think he's still angry with me?"_

Dark didn't take his eyes off the balcony.Smiling, he said:

_"Don't worry.I'm sure he's not."_

* * *

Author's Notes: Thank you for your exellent reviews.I really appreciate them.I hoped you liked the ending.It took me a while to finish this chapter, being a perfectionist, I read this numerous times over, making sure I approved of each and every word.I can't help but think I rushed the last chapter, when I wanted to go at a much slower pace.I wanted the readers to feel what Risa felt, imagine vividly each and every word, and find some meaning in it.

I enjoyed writing this fanfic the most of all, and judging by the fact that I had 369 hits just 2 days after I first posted the story, really strengthened my love for this story.

"We all live with the objective of being happy, our lives are all different and yet the same."-- Anne Frank

"If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain."-- Emily Dickinson

The quotes above, in my opinion, really sum up the overall message of the story. : )


	8. Epilogue

I think a soundtrack would go great with this story.

The following are songs that inspired me to write "Wings Of Desire":

Songs from the _City of Angels_ Original Soundtrack:

1."Spreading Wings" by Gabriel Yared

2. "An Angel Falls" by Gabriel Yared

3. "The Unfeeling Kiss" by Gabriel Yared

4. "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls

5. "I Know" by Jude

Songs from the _Message In A Bottle_ Original Soundtrack:

1. ''Images Of the Past" by Gabriel Yared

2. "Theresa" by Gabriel Yared

Other songs...

"I Miss You" by Blink-182

"Ningyo Hime" (Mermaid) by Rie Tanaka

"I Wanna Believe You" by Lori Carson featuring Paul Haslinger

"Thank You" by Dido

"Sally and Jack" by Pino Donaggio

"All Eyes On Me" by the Goo Goo Dolls


End file.
